Medical Issues -vs- My Notebook.

I recently attended a mandatory training class on Medical Issues in Jail. I am slightly ashamed to admit this, but after sitting there for about three and a half hours I really don’t remember what was said, except for a few snippets (one of which will be featured a few paragraphs down). I actually planned to pay attention, but the first speaker ruined this idea, and my notebook soon became a list of random things I thought about while sitting there.

So, without further ado, here they are (and I even wrote down the times I made these observations and thoughts, just to show a chronological order of events):

0805 hours: The first speaker started five minutes early (a major faux pas is you ask me). He has been speaking for nearly ten minutes and I haven’t heard a word he has said.

0810 hours: Someone should tell this guy when speaking to a group of people it is completely ineffective to do it all sitting down.

• Further thoughts on this: An hour and half lecture on suicide and he does it seated? Is he trying to get the rest of us to kill ourselves? This guy is a fairly respected Mental Health Worker in the county, you would think he would know the disaster of a class he created by teaching us about suicide in such a fashion.

0815 hours: Holy crap, its only been ten minutes since I first realized I haven’t heard a word he has said and I still haven’t heard a word he has said.

0830 hours: The guy next to me is a little high strung. He asked a question, and his body language made it more like a challenge to fight the instructor. Seriously, the he took off his glasses, leaned forward, used the arm of his glasses to point at the instructor, and his tone of voice simply said (in not the same words), “Hey buddy, if you think this is helping us you got another think coming! And if you don’t like what I have to say we can meet at the bike rack at lunch!”

0840 hours: Some people really seem to lack common sense (this thought is directly related to the previous thought).

0910 hours: Today’s USA Today Crossword is pretty difficult.

1000 hours: The RN who is teaching the section on communicable diseases obviously understands the concept of standing when speaking to a group.

1020 hours: The RN just made one of the most amazing, and unforgettable statements I have ever heard on the subject of tuberculosis: “When in close proximity to a person with this disease, if all else fails (referring to not having a mask available) hold your breath.”

1030 hours: So far, the best presentation of the day has been the shortest.

1045 hours: I wonder if anyone is planning on going to the brewery for lunch??

Ok, so there it is. Did I take anything of note from the training? Not really. It was all review as far as I could tell. But we are mandated by the state to have continual training in certain areas, and “Medical Issues” is one of them.

Fortunately, I will always remember, if I think a guy has TB, I can just hold my breath.