Jan 6, 2010

Here's Wool in your Arse!

Once again I have found myself starting eleventy-billion posts and finishing none of them.  I have come to a certain realization about my particular blogging:  I am completely directionless.  I have no focus.  and it bothers me.  I can't really say why, over all.  But in the end, it still bothers me.

But oh well.  What are is a guy to do?  I could continue to fight it, and remain stagnant.  Or, I could simply accept it and move on and actually come up with something to post.

So, acceptance.  And now a post.

Lets talk about the petting zoo.  A large group of fairly domesticated, and docile, animals.  Sheep, goats, and the like.  But in the end, one must remember, they are still animals, and they will do what comes naturally.  That is why the call it "Animal Instinct," right?

So we are approaching the petting zoo.  A place we have been to probably a hundred times over.  Its a familiar place, and a place we like to visit.  As we are coming around the corner, we see a woman who is obviously a Zoo Employee cleaning the ground of the animal pen.  Just as she bends over to rake some poop in to a large dust pan a sheep charges and rams hier head into the woman's rear end, sending her sprawling. 

Now, I don't claim to be an animal expert, but the poor sheep simply saw a target and went for it.   It wasn't the sheep's fault.  She was simply doping something that is completely natural.  However, by the way this woman reacted, you have thought the sheep had taken the woman's only child and disemboweled the poor kid over a flaming sacrificial alter.

I know, I know, that is a pretty extreme way to describe the poor woman's reaction.  But it was indeed a blood curdling scream.  Was this woman, whose sole purpose of employment is to know these animals and tend to their needs, completely unaware of the behavior of sheep?  Did this woman not realize that her upturned rump might prove to me more than simply her arse, but the very embodiment of what a sheep would call a challenge?

The screaming was so horrific it scared poor Ben away from the petting zoo, one of his favorite places.  I can't say I totally minded, really.  I have been to the petting zoo far more times than I care to count and quite frankly, I get more enjpyment out of petting the cats than I do some strange sheep. 

Now to the part I am ashamed to admit:  This whole sequence of events was insanely funny to me.  This woman was afraid for her life.  And judging by the decible level of her screaming, she was afraid of radion poisoning, being swarmed by killer bees, being attacked by a rogue group of terrorists, and somehow she connected all these events into the fact that a sheep rammed his head into her arse.   Was it funny?  As an outside observer, oh yes!  It was a sheep.  Not much bigger than my dog, who is not that big to begin with.

It was a classic case of a total over reaction.  And I had to do my best to stifle my laughter because I was not wanting to set a bad example for my poor kid who was traumatized by the woman's screaming. 

Why do kids have to ruin all the fun we adults want to have?


  1. Oh VOR -- I've checked and checked your blog countless times waiting for an update. Finally, a post . . . Really? About a sheep and a woman's posterior? I'm glad you're back!

  2. What a post. Having seen that petting zoo area, I can just imagine what the scene must have been like. Did she over react? I think so. She got "butted" by a sheep. Maybe she should be more careful bending over. I hope Ben recovers and goes back. He has always enjoyed the zoo.
    Keep up the posting. We love it.

  3. I think the reaction may have been appropriate for the surprise, but I'm not sure how anyone who works around those headbutting critters would offer up their posterior like that and then be surprised. Really --- maybe it was her first (and last) day.

  4. Don't worry about being directionless on your blog. It's like life, man, sometimes the wind blows you here, sometimes there. Whichever way the wind blows you, write it out. We want to hear about it.

    Good thing I wasn't there. Child or no child, I'd be laughing my damn fool head off. Sheep butting a butt: funny. Sheep butting a butt and causing owner of said butt to completely lose their shit: hysterical.


You went to all the trouble to get yourself here, you might as well say something about it.

Related Posts with Thumbnails