Aug 23, 2008

Dr. Jeckle, Mr. Hyde and the Torturous Pit of Despair

It’s been a while since I have had anything to say about my orthopedist. On my last visit, I found Dr. Killgore to be a completely changed man. It was really a sort of Dr. Jeckle and Mr. Hyde kind of thing.

My first visit, back in April, he was quiet, then suddenly abrupt when he did decide to speak, and finally he simply dismissed me. When the appointment was over it was clearly over; get the heck out of his office. I left there feeling like I had just been put through a meat grinder (Que the transitional musical chimes and wavy visual effects signifying a cut scene):

The doctor walked into his office and looked at me with evil, penetrating eyes. They were glowing yellow, and barely open enough to be called slits. As he spoke, smoke spewed from the bowels of his fiery heart and the rank smell of sulfur filled the small office. “What do you wish from me, puny human?!? Why do you bother me with your insignificance?” As I cowered from this monstrosity from the depths of hell I mustered an answer. “Sir, I am in pain and require medical attention.” “I’ll decide what you need, worthless soul! Sit there in silence and marvel at my magnificence!!” The sweat beaded on my brow and I gripped the arms of my chair in order to steady myself. Suddenly the doctor spoke again. “Take this pain pill leave me be!”

It should suffice to say I left there thinking I needed to look for another doctor. Attempts at going to UC Davis medical center and UCSF medical center were futile. Both institutions rejected me as a patient due to patient overcrowding. So I had an appointment, which I kept with Dr. Killgore, and arrived on time. I had my son with me, and was preparing to shield him from the onslaught to come from the demon. What was about to happen I would never have predicted (again, Que the transitional musical chimes and wavy visual effects signifying a cut scene):

The doctor entered the office, which was cheerfully lit. The window was open and the bright sun warmed the room and the soul. He smiled at my son and introduced himself. “Good morning there, young man. I’m Dr. Killgore. Who might you be?” Ben was a bit shy and failed to answer, so I answered in his stead. “This is my son, Ben.” “Well,” said the doctor, “its nice to meet you just the same.” The doctor then turned towards me, and smiled again, a small twinkle in his eye. “And how are you? Has the prescribed treatment been helpful?” Completely taken aback by his demeanor, I was speechless. He continued to inquire about my progress and overall well being, then informed me I would be recommended to a specialist in Santa Rosa. “I hope you guys have a swell day. Go out and enjoy the sunshine. And thanks for stopping by.”

The differences in these two visits were amazing. From a fiery demon waiting to suck my soul through my eye sockets to a cheery man, with a fine disposition, who genuinely cared for my health and safety. A complete departure from the previous visit.

Now, I have an appointment scheduled with a new doctor in Santa Rosa. Dr. Schakel. I hope, just by going with his name alone, that this is not some torture chamber I am being sent to. Was Dr. Killgore simply putting up a facade on my last visit? Was he really planning a diabolical scheme that could only end in my demise? I hope not.

I’ll be leaving tomorrow after work. I’ll get some sleep and the appointment is Monday morning at 0900 hours. I’ll fill you on the details when I get back.


  1. Please call us! Good Luck! Love ya, Mom

  2. Maybe Ben was the good luck charm! He can warm any "demons" heart! :) Miss you guys!

  3. This made me laugh. I mean, I'm not laughing at your pain, but your scene descriptions - very vivid. I may have mentioned this before, but in my experience with working with doctors, the Orthopods tend to be, well, the dickiest. Ortho is a very macho specialty, what with all those broken bones and such. I think it was wise to bring Ben with you. For future visits you may want to continue to bring Ben. Or perhaps borrow a child if Ben is not available.


You went to all the trouble to get yourself here, you might as well say something about it.

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