Nov 14, 2008

Questions that might need answering.

(This post edited after a call from the boy's mother)

I'm here at my parents place spending the weekend with my son.  The original reason for timing it now was that his step-dad was having surgery and my timing would make things easier for them. Now I can't claim to always be so noble, but in the end, its a good thing I am here.

Wednesday I heard from Amy (my ex-wife) who told me Kevin's father was very ill, and possibly not going to pull through.  So, that night they hopped on a plane to Las Vegas (not the way I would like to spend an impromptu trip to Vegas, but you can't always pick the circumstances).  

So this leaves me with a bit of a quandary. If the boy's grandfather passes on, I will have to be here with Ben and explain death and how it affects us here. This wouldn't be his time dealing with someone he knows passing on, unfortunately he has had that experience already.  But I think this will be the first time it is a family member.  Kevin has been in Ben's life since he was about 2 or 3.  So Kevin's father has been too.  And Kevin and I don't always see eye to eye, he does treat my son well and I respect him for that.  And the possible loss of life to any person can be traumatic and tough. 

So I wonder, how will this affect the boy?  What questions will he have?  Will I be prepared to answer them?  I'd like to think so.  However, as with most quasi-uncomfortable situations, we don't know how its going to be until we are thick in the mire.  If we end up having this talk, I am sure it will be worth remembering.  If we don't end up having this talk, well, it will come up sooner or later, for one reason or another.  

So who knows.  Until then, we're just having a good time and trying not to think about it. 

(Here follows a Post Script)

I got a call from the boy's mother.  They will be home and would like to address the issue at hand with Ben, themselves.  I am fine with this, after all, its there family, not mine.  The issue is probably going to need to be addressed sometime in the near future, but its more appropriate for them to be involved, given the circumstances.

I am simply glad I was here when I was needed.  And had the issue arisen, and it needed to be addressed with the little guy before his mother got home, I would have been here to make sure he was OK.

And thats all that matters to me.

1 comment:

  1. Ben knows that people and pets pass on to the next stage in life. I think he will understand pretty well. It will be a great experience for you when you have that talk. Let us know how it goes! -- Dad


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