Jan 9, 2009

A clarification on the importance of friends.

So, after such a gushing, sappy, somewhat corny vow of thanks to my friends, they have proven themselves to be nothing but jackasses.

I called friend #1 at his office the other day. He answered the phone and identified himself. I then identified myself and asked how he was doing. To which he replied, "Well, number 1 is doing just fine."

It took me a few seconds to catch on to his meaning. Then it all became clear.

My friends. Those who I have put my confidence in. Those who I rely on. Those who I can count on to be there for me.

They simply took my little bit of gratitude and turned it into a popularity contest.

So I say to my friends, "You guys suck."

#1 now feels he has something to hang over the heads of #2 and #3. #3 now feels he is the bottom of the barrel, and consoles himself by saying, "He must have saved the best for last." #2 has been strangely quiet, perhaps happy with his unintentionally labeled station in life.

So to these 3 idiots I say this: You guys are idiots. I still love ya, but you are idiots.

Thanks for tuning in.


  1. Remember that this may be why they call YOU the "Voice of Reason".... hmmm....

    And I'm up for a gym challenge... what do you have in mind? I should be able to go back on Monday the 12th of January...

  2. Don't worry, deep underneath they still care. May take some digging.....

  3. By the way now that I've caught up on brother and sister talk, Dad and I are in on the gyn challenge! Bring it on, what's it to be?

  4. Sadly, I have it on somewhat reliable authority that #2 appreciates making the list and not having the pressure of being #1 or the shame of #3. Of course my response had something to do with the other use of the term "#2" which he was sure was not your intention. I think overall you are right in your assessment of the whole lot. But I love you all anyway! Janine

  5. #3 here...

    Do not mistake our joking as a lack of appreciation for your kind words. I am glad that you value our friendship so much...I do as well, just as I am happy if I can help you when you may be down.

    I know we are all #1 in your heart.

    And as for the idiot comment, I much rather prefer the term "savant".


You went to all the trouble to get yourself here, you might as well say something about it.

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