- to cease to run or flow; as water, air, etc.
- to become stale or foul from standing, such as a pool of water.
- to stop developing, growing, progressing, or advancing.
- to become sluggish and dull.
Number four seems to apply indirectly, but only because number three seems to hit the nail on the head.
When I started this blogging project, it first was a simple way to keep in touch with the family. We did "this" over the weekend, we did "that" the other day. But over time, it became a lot more to me. And suddenly it was an outlet for all sorts of written monologue. But now I find I have indeed become stagnant.
I just spent the last three hours in the car, and this was something I was thinking about quite a bit. Why has this happened? I can certainly speculate on a few things, working night shift has certainly cramped my writing style. But I have come to realize there are other factors at work here that I didn't realize at first.
Perhaps, not just my prose has stagnated, but physically I have as well (which I believe is leading to a mental stagnation, too). For example, I come home from work and take my boots off pretty much just vegetate. I might eat a little something, then I go to bed. I do my best to not wake up until I need to get up and get ready for work. I go to work, come home, and repeat.
Now, lets rewind the clock a little. Before the marriage, Wife and I were dedicated to losing weight, eating right, and getting in shape. And we set a goal to do this before we were married. This included nearly daily trips to the gym, eating a whole a lot better and reaping the benefits.
I was motivated, I had a lot to say, and I simply felt better about myself. Now, right now we are generally doing a good job of eating right, and my weight is reflecting this. However, I am horribly out of shape. My energy level is pretty much zero beyond what I must do. To put it more bluntly, I am a lazy cull.
So, this is my new goal. Actually, I have two (because in my mind, they go hand in hand):
- I am going back to the gym. Now, I have been telling myself this over the last couple of months, but to no avail. What is my motivation now? Don't know (at least its an honest answer). Aside from the obvious "it can't hurt me to be in better shape," I believe a more active person will have a more active mind. And as we have discussed a little, I have become boring and dull. And I can't let Wife realize how boring and dull I am, she might not find me so endearing (OK, that might be a slight exaggeration of the truth).
- At the suggestion of my good friend, LazzyBuddhist, I am committing to a full month of posting. Supposedly, this is going to be an exercises in creative writing. Forcing myself to producing something, anything, is better than the nothings I have been coming up with. And while my little following I have is fairly small, I had come to enjoy my posting more for myself than anything else.